A Second Life indie DJ has entered the fourth consecutive day of trawling SoundCloud for bands sufficiently obscure for him to pretend he has been listening to them for years.
Milo Vane, resident DJ at converted virtual abattoir THE STATIC MOTH, has reportedly slept for just six hours since Wednesday as he searches for music unknown to everyone, including in several cases the people making it.
“It’s becoming incredibly difficult,” said Milo.
“You find something really interesting, then discover they’ve got 340 monthly listeners and think, oh for fuck’s sake, everyone knows them now.”
Milo’s set on Friday included a track by Bristol post-punk trio Custard Architect, which he introduced by telling fellow pretend hipsters that he has “been into their early stuff forever.”
Custard Architect formed on Thursday.
Their early stuff currently consists of a 41-second SoundCloud clip recorded by the bass player to check whether his audio interface was working. “They were better before they got polished,” Milo explained.
Another selection came from Norwegian shoegaze duo Visker, whose debut single has not yet been written. “I’ve followed them for years,” Milo said.
Visker’s two members met last weekend.
Friends say Milo’s obsession with musical obscurity has intensified since another DJ played a band he recognised, forcing him to stand perfectly still for several seconds while reconsidering his entire identity.
“He used to play The Cure occasionally,” said regular attendee xLunaStarflowerx.
“Then somebody said they liked The Cure and he never played them again.”
Milo now refuses to consider any artist with a Wikipedia page, record contract, completed album or more than twelve followers.
His latest discovery is believed to be a Latvian woman called Elina who accidentally uploaded the sound of herself moving a wardrobe.
“It’s incredible,” Milo said. “Very early industrial. You can hear the isolation.”
Elina has confirmed she is not a musician.
Milo says that’s exactly what makes her so important.